Sasshi e no Dengon

All of the following is written in my own perspective. Feel free to agree or disagree - it won't change what I feel.

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I didn't think a day like this would come; a day where a sweet, funny, dorky girl like you would be caught into such a huge mess.

When I came back home from my school's last day of classes, a day full of excitement and cheerfulness, I went on the computer just to take a break and relax. Going on a site I frequently visit, I was surprised to see people talking about you so much, and in a worriful manner, at that. "No, not Sasshi!" "I can't believe that this would happen to Rino" "Don't worry, Sashiko, I will always be supporting you!"; such phrases as these made my eyes widen in a horrified way, my jaw drop all the way down to the floor, and my heart sink to the depths of my stomach in which butterflies were fluttering all around in it. At that instant, one word came to my mind: Scandal. The cheerfulness that I had been having all day abruptly came to an end.

You were and still are one of my favourite AKB members; without a doubt, the person who was on my mind the entire time would be Sasshi-chan. So I didn't hesitate at all to check a Japanese culture news site to see what all the chaos was about. As the site was loading, a million things were twirling around like a tornado amidst the darkness I now had in my head. At last, the page was fully loaded after what felt like the longest ten seconds I have ever felt in my life. Sure enough, at the top of the page, I saw something that made my physical and mental wellbeing steer downhill fast; the headline of that article addressed that you had been moved to HKT48 because of a scandal that you were in.

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Apparently, the story goes that Sasshi was romantically involved with a fan of hers during the years 2008 and 2009. This fan has said that the two exchanged mail and that she has sent him personal photos of yourself. Despite defending herself and saying that they were merely friends, it still broke the rule of having no private contact between fans. Therefore, Aki-P has transferred her to HKT48 - a sister group of AKB48 that has been active for almost a year and still hasn't released any singles - as a restart rather than a punishment.

First off, anyone who does something as slimy as this to their idol - I don't think they deserve to be called a fan at all. From where I see it, they start getting bitter over how much popularity their idol is garnering and when opportunity comes knocking that involves telling a juicy story for the reward of money, they'll have at it. Getting money that way is much simpler than having to work at a part-time job at a fast food restaurant. And more importantly, they get to retaliate in order to feel self-satisfied. I don't know how I could feel any satisfaction from hurting her.

Then, when she says that the two of them are just friends, I really, truly, honestly believe that Sasshi is telling the truth. Especially when she's crying all her stress out into the form of tears. But it feels like my voice is nothing compared to the more vocal tone of the negative. Whether they're the majority or not, it seems that they will always be louder than the rest. I'm not saying that people shouldn't say what they feel is right or positive, but it can feel hopeless when you do.

Lastly, regarding the transfer from AKB48 to HKT48, I have mixed feelings on this. On one hand, I'm happy that Sasshi hasn't been banished completely from the 48 franchise, that she has a chance to start over again and that she can guide the HKT "underlings". But I'm also depressed that there won't be any "leading Wota" in AKB anymore, that she might not gain back popularity (After what has happened to some of my other favourite members, Ayarin and Sayaka) and that it's not really fair to HKT; unless I saw wrong, Aki-P has said that Sasshi might be the next center of HKT. While that's a great (And very likely) possibility for her and her remaining fans, what about the rest of HKT? I feel like they deserve their own ace and not just a "leftover" (I say leftover in quotations as people could take the negative connotation from it, which is not my intention at all) from their senpai group.

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You have already apologized to your fans, and as one of them, I accept it, fully knowing that doing so will not change what has been done. I'm not so sure of what else I can do to make this better for you. I'm not one of those fans who goes to live concerts, who buys multiple copies of a single, or even someone who simply comments on your blog. For that, I feel obliged to give you my apology. But I hope that you're aware that I, along with many others, will be supporting you as much as we can!

それでも好きだよ!